T minus 14

The new house possession date is only 14 days away.

Building a house is kind of like falling in love.  First, you meet a lot of duds.  You even romance them a little.  You think about how nice their kitchen would be if only it weren’t so small, cramped, angular, whatever, and you set out to “change” it.  The salesperson tells you that “some modifications” can be made, but then you find out that he means, you can paint the small, cramped, angular kitchen yellow.  You move on.

As you mature, you come to realize that while no house is perfect, you definitely shouldn’t settle for a kitchen you can’t change.  You’re worth more than that.  Finally, you meet the house of your dreams.  This kitchen won’t let you down when you’re trying to bake your grandma’s bread recipe 15 minutes before Christmas morning, no sirree!  You rush in, you sign documents with numbers that make you blush, and you agree to things your mother told you nice girls don’t do.  Like custom design your fireplace. You take a photo with the “sold” sign.

And then you wait.

You wait until that special day when your builder finally says “Would you…like to know when we’re digging up your foundation?”  You become elated!  Yes!  You drive up to your site with your heart racing, and… turns out it’s a hole.  Kind of like yesterday but the start of something different.

Over the next few months, you obsess about everything.  You take photos, you check and double check measurements, you ask lots of questions about the house’s “birth” and “infancy” as though you know anything at all about such things.  You may or may not drive people crazy with questions.  Family members may not have realized you were even dating building a house.  Maybe something goes wrong, you have your first big fight.  You tell the house you are “disappointed” in its finishings.  You suddenly carry a measuring tape in your favourite Mat & Nat bag.  You are intimately aware of the dimensions of your shower shelf.  You can rattle off the colour of the paint you selected 8 months prior without hesitation.  Friends may refer to this as “nauseating”.  You try to talk about other things, but jeez, don’t they get it, this is EVERYTHING.   Tile?  Of course everyone wants to know about the tile!

Now that you’re in the home stretch and you are bridezilla.  Service personnel call you a minimum of three times a day to verify facts.  You sign lots of documents stating you’re really, truly sure you want to go through with this house / tile / mover / mortgage.  You know the names of everyone’s assistant but still can’t remember whether one of them is your cousin.  You check on the house every day to make sure it’s still your house and wants to be with you.  You fall in love with it again every time it gets a new feature.  You joke about “christening” the closet.

It’s two weeks away and I definitely want to marry it move in.  The couch and I have a long-standing appointment to knit all of our Christmas gifts in the new house, and although the couch peeked at the list and thought I was crazy, it can still come.


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